Gifts For MySQL DBAs

December 12, 2019

Dear MySQL DBA — You are darn near impossible to shop for and the holidays are quickly approaching.  Make a hard copy of this blog, cut at the dotted line below, circle the items you want, and hand this out to the folks who will be buying you presents. If you do not you may get the coffee cup that plays the Baby Shark sound continuously when it senses hot liquids inside — you do not want that.

Dear person trying to by a MySQL DBA a gift,

Yes, that person is very hard to buy gifts for and they are presenting this to you to aid your hunt. If you to to you will find links to the vendors selling these goods. Hopefully this will ease the holiday shopping pressure.

  1. A funny cup


  2. A great shirt


  3. A bib

    Probably for the kids of DBAs or future DBAs. But may not be a bad idea for the extra sloppy adult.


  4. Another cup


  5. A Hoodie


Linuxfest Northwest, Longhorn PHP, PHP Tek, Percona Live, Texas Linuxfest, & Southeast Linxufest

April 24, 2019

Last week I spoke at the Open Source 101 conference in Columbia, South Carolina on ‘MySQL 8.0 Features for Developers’. This week I will be in Bellingham, Washington for Linxufest Northwest speaking on ‘The Top 7 Database Mistakes You Are Making’ and ‘MySQL 8.0 Features for Developers’.

Longhorn PHP is May 2nd through the 4th in Austin. I will be speaking on ‘MySQL 8.0 Features for Developers’. And you may want to check out Mark Neibergal’s ‘Relational Database Design Bootcamp’.

MySQL is proud to again sponsor PHPTek May 21st and 22nd.

Then back to Austin for Percona Live Open Source Database Conference May 28th-30th. I was on the content committee for the MySQL track and there are a lot of great sessions. Be sure to read my earlier post on things to see in Austin such as seeing the bats fly out of the Congress Street Bridge andwhere to get the best BBQ.

Right after that and three hours up the road in Irving is the Texas Linxufest. I will lead a three hour tutorial that is an introduction to MySQL and later talk on ‘MySQL 8.0 Features for Developers’.

The June rolls around with the 10th anniversary Southeast Linuxfest. More on the talks later but you can hear myself and the amazing Dr. Charles Bell give presentations.

Top Ten Thanks!

June 19, 2018


Thanks to all who read this blog and my other blog at!

Yorkshire PHP & MySQL Innovation Days

April 12, 2018

PHP Yorkshire is April 13th and 14th in the wonderful city of York.  MySQL is proud to again sponsor this exciting conference and please stop by the MySQL booth and see if you can EARN a MySQL Plush Dolphin to go along with the very nice PHP elephant created by the organizers.

Live in Boston, Minneapolis, or the San Francisco area? Well, MySQL Innovation Days will be held in these three cities.

Register for these no-cost events:

April 27th, Redwood Shores, CA
May 1st, Minneapolis, MN
May 3rd, Boston, MA

There will be many topics covered but the highlights will be:

  • MySQL 8.0 for developing modern web and mobile applications
  • MySQL High Availability strategies using replication and MySQL InnoDB Cluster
  • MySQL Enterprise Security best practices
  • MySQL Performance Tuning tips



All Things Open to Zendcon next week

October 19, 2017

The week of the 23rd of October has two of my favorite shows and sadly, for me, they are at the same time on opposite sides of the country.

All Things Open has grown from a small show in Raleigh to a mega show with thousands of attendees.  It has an exciting and vibrant audience like the old OSCON shows had (but lost) and several tracks crammed with interesting sessions. This is a multi discipline show and there are always talks on new subjects that worth attending plus the latest on long time open source projects.  MySQL has sponsored this event since the beginning and continues this year.  Look for Andrew Rist in the MySQL booth.

I will be in Las Vegas for Zendcon and MySQL is also returning as a sponsor. This is a PHP centric show and has many sessions on the Zend Framework, other Rogue Wave products, and many PHP subjects. But is is just another PHP conference? No, it has a lot of heavy duty, in depth deep dives into what I would like to call industrial strength PHP development. This show has a lot of solid session for professional software developers. This is not he usual Vegas show with smoky passages and jarring slot machine noise and well worth the trip even if you are not a Viva Las Vegas type.

PNWPHP and Swanseacon

September 5, 2017

Busy month with PNWPHP at Washington University’s Kane Hall September 7th to the 9th. MySQL is sponsoring and I will be manning the booth. This is an exciting event on the PHP calendar and they have a great speaker lineup. Ticket are still available if you are in the area.

Swanseacon returns for a second year and I will be speaking on making MySQL Agile-ish. MySQL is proud to be sponsoring for a second year and I am looking forward to the wonderful Welsh audience again. Tickets are going quickly.

And do not forget that Oracle Open World is the first five days in October. MySQL will also have some post show events and I will provide more details when I get them.

Talks in April – Las Vegas, UK, TX, Santa Clara, and Oracle HQ!

March 28, 2017

April is going to be a busy month for yours truly. First up is the big Oracle Users Groups show in Las Vegas Collaborate 17 at Mandalay Bay April 2nd through 6th. This show features over 1,250 session, thousands of attendees and me (with Kathy Forte) at the MySQL Demo Pod.

From there I am off to Yorkshire PHP where I am proud to be speaking at this new event on MySQL 8. That is on Saturday the 8th in York but I will head down south on the 11th for the London MySQL Meetup to talk more about MySQL 8.

Then it is the closest show to home for me, the final LoneStar PHP. I will be giving a talk on the basics of database programming with PHP.

The month ends with Percona Live the 24th through the 27th and followed by Oracle Innovation Day on the 28th; the agenda for the FREE innovation day follows.

08:00 a.m. – 09:00 a.m.

Registration & Breakfast

09:00 a.m. – 09:15 a.m.

Welcome & Opening Remarks

09:15 a.m. – 10:00 a.m.

MySQL 8.0: What’s New

10:00 a.m. – 10:45 a.m.

MySQL 8.0: CTEs & Window Functions

10:45 a.m. – 11:00 a.m.

Morning Break

11:00 a.m. – 11:45 a.m.

MySQL in Oracle Public Cloud

11:45 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.

MySQL Enterprise Security

12:30 p.m. – 01:30 p.m.


01:30 p.m. – 02:15 p.m.

MySQL Group Replication

02:15 p.m. – 03:00 p.m.

MySQL InnoDB Cluster

03:00 p.m. – 03:15 p.m.

Afternoon Break

03:15 p.m. – 04:00 p.m.

Best of Both Worlds | MySQL as a Document, Relation, and Combined Store

04:00 p.m. – 04:45 p.m.

MySQL Performance Tuning

04:45 p.m. – 05:00 p.m.

Wrap up